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Jun. 11th, 2007 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's well after 11 p.m., Joy already knows I'm not going in to work tomorrow, and I'm positive it's going to take me forever to fall asleep tonight, so here I am writing in my LJ because I need some semblance of catharsis.
Last week we put in glass block windows in our basement windows. Over the weekend we also started cutting down the lower branches of the trees along the culprit side of the house so it opened up the area and made it more visible. We also bought window alarms so that if a window ever moved, an alarm would sound.
Instead of breaking in the downstairs window, they busted in the siding on my parents' air conditioner (this person is small, because very few people would be able to fit through a window of that size). They disabled the alarm on the window. They then tore apart my parents' room, the den (with my parents' computer), the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room, looking for money. When they only found about $200 (that we know of), they decided to take my parents' flatscreen computer monitor and keyboard. The monitor would fetch a pretty penny; the keyboard makes no sense. They also took three sets of car keys, one for each of our cars. Once again, I got off lucky that they never bothered going upstairs.
The police found absolutely nothing except a single set of bike tracks leading from our window to the cul-de-sac behind our house. No one in the area saw or heard anything...and people were actually home. Some were even out in their yards. They left no fingerprints (at least not that the police could find) or blood samples or anything else we can use to find out who did it. We have no way of finding the person who did this.
I packed up all my video game stuff and DVD sets and sent it off to a friend's house, not just so this person doesn't take any of it, but so it's not damaged when my room becomes their next target. If this burglar took car keys, he/she is planning on coming back when they're in a pinch and trying to swipe our cars. Next time this person is here (because I have absolutely no doubt that this person will be back), I'm sure they'll go upstairs this time and take whatever they can find. I'm sure my computer monitor will be next because it's identical to the one they took from my parents. I was also lucky in that I backed up my entire hard drive only yesterday (bought an external one on sale from Best Buy and backed everything up) and I've now sent that off for safekeeping, too, so multiple copies of my novel exist in various places. I can live without a lot of things, but it would kill me to lose all of the work on that novel permanently. We took our money and other valuables down to my father's church.
Milwaukee's police force is horrible. It took them well over an hour and a half just to get here, both of these times, and when we ask what else we can do to prevent this from happening, they don't have any suggestions. And they're so understaffed that they don't patrol the area, looking for suspicious activity. They don't even recommend getting an alarm system because they know they're not able to respond to it in a timely fashion.
The one thing I've been able to glean about this person is that they're physically small (maybe even a kid), they're desperate for money (maybe even druggies needing their "fix"), they're obsessed with our house (probably because they got that $1,000 last year and now think we're THE place to hit), and they know they're not going to get caught so they just keep coming back, getting bolder, and taking whatever they want. And if they can't get it, they get angry and are now obviously moving on to destroying things. Personally, I think they're pissed that we blocked their "perfect" entry route by putting in the glass block windows. And angry, desperate, obsessed, and determined is a bad combination...as far as I'm concerned, it leads to one terrifying place: murder, if necessary, and massive destruction (maybe even arson) if they can't get what they want. Human beings are capable of a lot of horrible things, and in this city, where people get killed at gas stations just for their shoes, clearly no one is safe from it anymore. I would put nothing past this person anymore, not if they came back twice in a week and a half. And that makes me fear not only for my own life, but for my parent's lives.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live in a world this ****ed up anymore. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Everything about Earth (and humanity) is falling apart at the seams, even the weather. I have no idea why God is letting this happen, without exacting justice from this creep. I'm not suicidal, but I'm also having a hard time seeing the good in anything anymore, the point to it. And to think that I'm only 28 and am supposed to have a nice, long life ahead of me. What's the point of it when there's no world worth living in anymore? Every day it's getting worse, and nothing's happening to change it. I'm afraid it's going to take something catastropic for people to realize this way of life isn't working and actually do something to change it, to fix everything that's gone wrong.
There is so much wrong with everything nowadays. People have lost the ability to be human. All we want to do is earn a decent living for ourselves by working hard. How do we escape this insanity and evil? I don't know. I feel completely helpless. I feel defeated. I feel lost. I feel exhausted. I feel devastated. I'm scared. I have a lot of vacation days left this summer that I need to take off, and I'm afraid to take any of them and be at home alone because I don't know how to defend myself if worst came to worst.
The last time this happened, it hit me hard. It took until the middle of last week before I started recovering from it. This time, though...I just don't know how I'm going to manage even that. It hasn't even sunk in yet. Even last time I was beginning to question my sanity and my ability to handle bad things that happened...and now this happens. Again. And I'm becoming even more paranoid than before.
What is the purpose my being alive? I wouldn't exist unless there was a reason, right? What am I supposed to do? Am I doing something wrong and being punished? Is the Universe/God trying to tell me something? Do I need to change something? Am I supposed to be doing something else and this is a sign to be doing it? But what? We're working on moving as fast as we can, but there's a lot of work here that needs to be done yet before we can do that.
Is there any place in the world that hasn't been touched by the United States' pure selfishness, corruptness, and obsession with monetary and physical goods? Where a human life is maybe still valued, where other people's possessions aren't yours for the taking? Because I really, really want to move there, even if it means becoming a hermit for the rest of my life. How about Canada? How good/bad are things there? Or England? Seriously. Right now I'll consider anything.
I guess I'd better start focusing solely on that novel and forget everything else until it's done. I need to have it in workable condition and off to someone I can trust soon so that, in the event that I don't live long enough to finish what started all those years ago, maybe someone else can at least make sure that whatever is supposed to happen with it can happen. Because right now, that's the only "legacy" I'm afraid I may ever be able to leave.
And please, dear friends, if you believe in a higher being, please say a prayer for my family and our safety. I'm trying desperately not to lose faith, but I tell you, senseless things like this make it easy to see how people can question the existence of God.
Last week we put in glass block windows in our basement windows. Over the weekend we also started cutting down the lower branches of the trees along the culprit side of the house so it opened up the area and made it more visible. We also bought window alarms so that if a window ever moved, an alarm would sound.
Instead of breaking in the downstairs window, they busted in the siding on my parents' air conditioner (this person is small, because very few people would be able to fit through a window of that size). They disabled the alarm on the window. They then tore apart my parents' room, the den (with my parents' computer), the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room, looking for money. When they only found about $200 (that we know of), they decided to take my parents' flatscreen computer monitor and keyboard. The monitor would fetch a pretty penny; the keyboard makes no sense. They also took three sets of car keys, one for each of our cars. Once again, I got off lucky that they never bothered going upstairs.
The police found absolutely nothing except a single set of bike tracks leading from our window to the cul-de-sac behind our house. No one in the area saw or heard anything...and people were actually home. Some were even out in their yards. They left no fingerprints (at least not that the police could find) or blood samples or anything else we can use to find out who did it. We have no way of finding the person who did this.
I packed up all my video game stuff and DVD sets and sent it off to a friend's house, not just so this person doesn't take any of it, but so it's not damaged when my room becomes their next target. If this burglar took car keys, he/she is planning on coming back when they're in a pinch and trying to swipe our cars. Next time this person is here (because I have absolutely no doubt that this person will be back), I'm sure they'll go upstairs this time and take whatever they can find. I'm sure my computer monitor will be next because it's identical to the one they took from my parents. I was also lucky in that I backed up my entire hard drive only yesterday (bought an external one on sale from Best Buy and backed everything up) and I've now sent that off for safekeeping, too, so multiple copies of my novel exist in various places. I can live without a lot of things, but it would kill me to lose all of the work on that novel permanently. We took our money and other valuables down to my father's church.
Milwaukee's police force is horrible. It took them well over an hour and a half just to get here, both of these times, and when we ask what else we can do to prevent this from happening, they don't have any suggestions. And they're so understaffed that they don't patrol the area, looking for suspicious activity. They don't even recommend getting an alarm system because they know they're not able to respond to it in a timely fashion.
The one thing I've been able to glean about this person is that they're physically small (maybe even a kid), they're desperate for money (maybe even druggies needing their "fix"), they're obsessed with our house (probably because they got that $1,000 last year and now think we're THE place to hit), and they know they're not going to get caught so they just keep coming back, getting bolder, and taking whatever they want. And if they can't get it, they get angry and are now obviously moving on to destroying things. Personally, I think they're pissed that we blocked their "perfect" entry route by putting in the glass block windows. And angry, desperate, obsessed, and determined is a bad combination...as far as I'm concerned, it leads to one terrifying place: murder, if necessary, and massive destruction (maybe even arson) if they can't get what they want. Human beings are capable of a lot of horrible things, and in this city, where people get killed at gas stations just for their shoes, clearly no one is safe from it anymore. I would put nothing past this person anymore, not if they came back twice in a week and a half. And that makes me fear not only for my own life, but for my parent's lives.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live in a world this ****ed up anymore. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Everything about Earth (and humanity) is falling apart at the seams, even the weather. I have no idea why God is letting this happen, without exacting justice from this creep. I'm not suicidal, but I'm also having a hard time seeing the good in anything anymore, the point to it. And to think that I'm only 28 and am supposed to have a nice, long life ahead of me. What's the point of it when there's no world worth living in anymore? Every day it's getting worse, and nothing's happening to change it. I'm afraid it's going to take something catastropic for people to realize this way of life isn't working and actually do something to change it, to fix everything that's gone wrong.
There is so much wrong with everything nowadays. People have lost the ability to be human. All we want to do is earn a decent living for ourselves by working hard. How do we escape this insanity and evil? I don't know. I feel completely helpless. I feel defeated. I feel lost. I feel exhausted. I feel devastated. I'm scared. I have a lot of vacation days left this summer that I need to take off, and I'm afraid to take any of them and be at home alone because I don't know how to defend myself if worst came to worst.
The last time this happened, it hit me hard. It took until the middle of last week before I started recovering from it. This time, though...I just don't know how I'm going to manage even that. It hasn't even sunk in yet. Even last time I was beginning to question my sanity and my ability to handle bad things that happened...and now this happens. Again. And I'm becoming even more paranoid than before.
What is the purpose my being alive? I wouldn't exist unless there was a reason, right? What am I supposed to do? Am I doing something wrong and being punished? Is the Universe/God trying to tell me something? Do I need to change something? Am I supposed to be doing something else and this is a sign to be doing it? But what? We're working on moving as fast as we can, but there's a lot of work here that needs to be done yet before we can do that.
Is there any place in the world that hasn't been touched by the United States' pure selfishness, corruptness, and obsession with monetary and physical goods? Where a human life is maybe still valued, where other people's possessions aren't yours for the taking? Because I really, really want to move there, even if it means becoming a hermit for the rest of my life. How about Canada? How good/bad are things there? Or England? Seriously. Right now I'll consider anything.
I guess I'd better start focusing solely on that novel and forget everything else until it's done. I need to have it in workable condition and off to someone I can trust soon so that, in the event that I don't live long enough to finish what started all those years ago, maybe someone else can at least make sure that whatever is supposed to happen with it can happen. Because right now, that's the only "legacy" I'm afraid I may ever be able to leave.
And please, dear friends, if you believe in a higher being, please say a prayer for my family and our safety. I'm trying desperately not to lose faith, but I tell you, senseless things like this make it easy to see how people can question the existence of God.