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It's well after 11 p.m., Joy already knows I'm not going in to work tomorrow, and I'm positive it's going to take me forever to fall asleep tonight, so here I am writing in my LJ because I need some semblance of catharsis.
Last week we put in glass block windows in our basement windows. Over the weekend we also started cutting down the lower branches of the trees along the culprit side of the house so it opened up the area and made it more visible. We also bought window alarms so that if a window ever moved, an alarm would sound.
Instead of breaking in the downstairs window, they busted in the siding on my parents' air conditioner (this person is small, because very few people would be able to fit through a window of that size). They disabled the alarm on the window. They then tore apart my parents' room, the den (with my parents' computer), the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room, looking for money. When they only found about $200 (that we know of), they decided to take my parents' flatscreen computer monitor and keyboard. The monitor would fetch a pretty penny; the keyboard makes no sense. They also took three sets of car keys, one for each of our cars. Once again, I got off lucky that they never bothered going upstairs.
The police found absolutely nothing except a single set of bike tracks leading from our window to the cul-de-sac behind our house. No one in the area saw or heard anything...and people were actually home. Some were even out in their yards. They left no fingerprints (at least not that the police could find) or blood samples or anything else we can use to find out who did it. We have no way of finding the person who did this.
I packed up all my video game stuff and DVD sets and sent it off to a friend's house, not just so this person doesn't take any of it, but so it's not damaged when my room becomes their next target. If this burglar took car keys, he/she is planning on coming back when they're in a pinch and trying to swipe our cars. Next time this person is here (because I have absolutely no doubt that this person will be back), I'm sure they'll go upstairs this time and take whatever they can find. I'm sure my computer monitor will be next because it's identical to the one they took from my parents. I was also lucky in that I backed up my entire hard drive only yesterday (bought an external one on sale from Best Buy and backed everything up) and I've now sent that off for safekeeping, too, so multiple copies of my novel exist in various places. I can live without a lot of things, but it would kill me to lose all of the work on that novel permanently. We took our money and other valuables down to my father's church.
Milwaukee's police force is horrible. It took them well over an hour and a half just to get here, both of these times, and when we ask what else we can do to prevent this from happening, they don't have any suggestions. And they're so understaffed that they don't patrol the area, looking for suspicious activity. They don't even recommend getting an alarm system because they know they're not able to respond to it in a timely fashion.
The one thing I've been able to glean about this person is that they're physically small (maybe even a kid), they're desperate for money (maybe even druggies needing their "fix"), they're obsessed with our house (probably because they got that $1,000 last year and now think we're THE place to hit), and they know they're not going to get caught so they just keep coming back, getting bolder, and taking whatever they want. And if they can't get it, they get angry and are now obviously moving on to destroying things. Personally, I think they're pissed that we blocked their "perfect" entry route by putting in the glass block windows. And angry, desperate, obsessed, and determined is a bad combination...as far as I'm concerned, it leads to one terrifying place: murder, if necessary, and massive destruction (maybe even arson) if they can't get what they want. Human beings are capable of a lot of horrible things, and in this city, where people get killed at gas stations just for their shoes, clearly no one is safe from it anymore. I would put nothing past this person anymore, not if they came back twice in a week and a half. And that makes me fear not only for my own life, but for my parent's lives.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live in a world this ****ed up anymore. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Everything about Earth (and humanity) is falling apart at the seams, even the weather. I have no idea why God is letting this happen, without exacting justice from this creep. I'm not suicidal, but I'm also having a hard time seeing the good in anything anymore, the point to it. And to think that I'm only 28 and am supposed to have a nice, long life ahead of me. What's the point of it when there's no world worth living in anymore? Every day it's getting worse, and nothing's happening to change it. I'm afraid it's going to take something catastropic for people to realize this way of life isn't working and actually do something to change it, to fix everything that's gone wrong.
There is so much wrong with everything nowadays. People have lost the ability to be human. All we want to do is earn a decent living for ourselves by working hard. How do we escape this insanity and evil? I don't know. I feel completely helpless. I feel defeated. I feel lost. I feel exhausted. I feel devastated. I'm scared. I have a lot of vacation days left this summer that I need to take off, and I'm afraid to take any of them and be at home alone because I don't know how to defend myself if worst came to worst.
The last time this happened, it hit me hard. It took until the middle of last week before I started recovering from it. This time, though...I just don't know how I'm going to manage even that. It hasn't even sunk in yet. Even last time I was beginning to question my sanity and my ability to handle bad things that happened...and now this happens. Again. And I'm becoming even more paranoid than before.
What is the purpose my being alive? I wouldn't exist unless there was a reason, right? What am I supposed to do? Am I doing something wrong and being punished? Is the Universe/God trying to tell me something? Do I need to change something? Am I supposed to be doing something else and this is a sign to be doing it? But what? We're working on moving as fast as we can, but there's a lot of work here that needs to be done yet before we can do that.
Is there any place in the world that hasn't been touched by the United States' pure selfishness, corruptness, and obsession with monetary and physical goods? Where a human life is maybe still valued, where other people's possessions aren't yours for the taking? Because I really, really want to move there, even if it means becoming a hermit for the rest of my life. How about Canada? How good/bad are things there? Or England? Seriously. Right now I'll consider anything.
I guess I'd better start focusing solely on that novel and forget everything else until it's done. I need to have it in workable condition and off to someone I can trust soon so that, in the event that I don't live long enough to finish what started all those years ago, maybe someone else can at least make sure that whatever is supposed to happen with it can happen. Because right now, that's the only "legacy" I'm afraid I may ever be able to leave.
And please, dear friends, if you believe in a higher being, please say a prayer for my family and our safety. I'm trying desperately not to lose faith, but I tell you, senseless things like this make it easy to see how people can question the existence of God.
Last week we put in glass block windows in our basement windows. Over the weekend we also started cutting down the lower branches of the trees along the culprit side of the house so it opened up the area and made it more visible. We also bought window alarms so that if a window ever moved, an alarm would sound.
Instead of breaking in the downstairs window, they busted in the siding on my parents' air conditioner (this person is small, because very few people would be able to fit through a window of that size). They disabled the alarm on the window. They then tore apart my parents' room, the den (with my parents' computer), the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room, looking for money. When they only found about $200 (that we know of), they decided to take my parents' flatscreen computer monitor and keyboard. The monitor would fetch a pretty penny; the keyboard makes no sense. They also took three sets of car keys, one for each of our cars. Once again, I got off lucky that they never bothered going upstairs.
The police found absolutely nothing except a single set of bike tracks leading from our window to the cul-de-sac behind our house. No one in the area saw or heard anything...and people were actually home. Some were even out in their yards. They left no fingerprints (at least not that the police could find) or blood samples or anything else we can use to find out who did it. We have no way of finding the person who did this.
I packed up all my video game stuff and DVD sets and sent it off to a friend's house, not just so this person doesn't take any of it, but so it's not damaged when my room becomes their next target. If this burglar took car keys, he/she is planning on coming back when they're in a pinch and trying to swipe our cars. Next time this person is here (because I have absolutely no doubt that this person will be back), I'm sure they'll go upstairs this time and take whatever they can find. I'm sure my computer monitor will be next because it's identical to the one they took from my parents. I was also lucky in that I backed up my entire hard drive only yesterday (bought an external one on sale from Best Buy and backed everything up) and I've now sent that off for safekeeping, too, so multiple copies of my novel exist in various places. I can live without a lot of things, but it would kill me to lose all of the work on that novel permanently. We took our money and other valuables down to my father's church.
Milwaukee's police force is horrible. It took them well over an hour and a half just to get here, both of these times, and when we ask what else we can do to prevent this from happening, they don't have any suggestions. And they're so understaffed that they don't patrol the area, looking for suspicious activity. They don't even recommend getting an alarm system because they know they're not able to respond to it in a timely fashion.
The one thing I've been able to glean about this person is that they're physically small (maybe even a kid), they're desperate for money (maybe even druggies needing their "fix"), they're obsessed with our house (probably because they got that $1,000 last year and now think we're THE place to hit), and they know they're not going to get caught so they just keep coming back, getting bolder, and taking whatever they want. And if they can't get it, they get angry and are now obviously moving on to destroying things. Personally, I think they're pissed that we blocked their "perfect" entry route by putting in the glass block windows. And angry, desperate, obsessed, and determined is a bad combination...as far as I'm concerned, it leads to one terrifying place: murder, if necessary, and massive destruction (maybe even arson) if they can't get what they want. Human beings are capable of a lot of horrible things, and in this city, where people get killed at gas stations just for their shoes, clearly no one is safe from it anymore. I would put nothing past this person anymore, not if they came back twice in a week and a half. And that makes me fear not only for my own life, but for my parent's lives.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live in a world this ****ed up anymore. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Everything about Earth (and humanity) is falling apart at the seams, even the weather. I have no idea why God is letting this happen, without exacting justice from this creep. I'm not suicidal, but I'm also having a hard time seeing the good in anything anymore, the point to it. And to think that I'm only 28 and am supposed to have a nice, long life ahead of me. What's the point of it when there's no world worth living in anymore? Every day it's getting worse, and nothing's happening to change it. I'm afraid it's going to take something catastropic for people to realize this way of life isn't working and actually do something to change it, to fix everything that's gone wrong.
There is so much wrong with everything nowadays. People have lost the ability to be human. All we want to do is earn a decent living for ourselves by working hard. How do we escape this insanity and evil? I don't know. I feel completely helpless. I feel defeated. I feel lost. I feel exhausted. I feel devastated. I'm scared. I have a lot of vacation days left this summer that I need to take off, and I'm afraid to take any of them and be at home alone because I don't know how to defend myself if worst came to worst.
The last time this happened, it hit me hard. It took until the middle of last week before I started recovering from it. This time, though...I just don't know how I'm going to manage even that. It hasn't even sunk in yet. Even last time I was beginning to question my sanity and my ability to handle bad things that happened...and now this happens. Again. And I'm becoming even more paranoid than before.
What is the purpose my being alive? I wouldn't exist unless there was a reason, right? What am I supposed to do? Am I doing something wrong and being punished? Is the Universe/God trying to tell me something? Do I need to change something? Am I supposed to be doing something else and this is a sign to be doing it? But what? We're working on moving as fast as we can, but there's a lot of work here that needs to be done yet before we can do that.
Is there any place in the world that hasn't been touched by the United States' pure selfishness, corruptness, and obsession with monetary and physical goods? Where a human life is maybe still valued, where other people's possessions aren't yours for the taking? Because I really, really want to move there, even if it means becoming a hermit for the rest of my life. How about Canada? How good/bad are things there? Or England? Seriously. Right now I'll consider anything.
I guess I'd better start focusing solely on that novel and forget everything else until it's done. I need to have it in workable condition and off to someone I can trust soon so that, in the event that I don't live long enough to finish what started all those years ago, maybe someone else can at least make sure that whatever is supposed to happen with it can happen. Because right now, that's the only "legacy" I'm afraid I may ever be able to leave.
And please, dear friends, if you believe in a higher being, please say a prayer for my family and our safety. I'm trying desperately not to lose faith, but I tell you, senseless things like this make it easy to see how people can question the existence of God.
no subject
Being victimized like that is just plain awful enough, but having it happen repeatedly like that... I can't even imagine. I wish I knew something to say that would help, but all I can offer is my comfort and thoughts that are with you and yours.
*hugs tight*
no subject
I would like to suggest you take your vacation time and come stay with me for a while, but I'm not sure if that would even be possible for you. I can't even fathom how awful it would be to live in a neighbourhood like that... mine is so safe and friendly, and police cars and folks from the neighbourhood watch organizations are always nearby. Maybe someone in your community needs to look into starting a volunteer crime prevention organization of some kind. They just started one here where volunteers patrol the problem streets on bicycles all day to prevent vandalism and shoplifting and stuff. In your case, I think a simple neighbourhood watch would do wonders.
*major hugs* The world really isn't any worse than it's ever been, I'm afraid. I'm sorry all this is happening to you, but it WILL come to an end, and life WILL seem sweet again. I just wish I could do something to hurry it along for you. :(
no subject
Oh Suzie, I'm so sorry to hear what a rough time you and your family have been having lately.
What about video surveillance or something of that nature? Anything to at least give the police an idea of whose doing it...
And your right, this world is a scary place sometimes. Now, I do believe in God. I've grown up reading and studying the Bible, and you wouldn't believe how much that's really helped me find comfort when I need it. What especially helps me is knowing that 1) God is in no way responsible for the bad things that happen 2) the world we live in is under Satan's control and influence...which is why things are so bad, 3) there's a very good reason God has let things continue this way, but 4) in the very near future God *will* do something about #2 and fix all that's gone wrong in the world.
There's more, but I don't want to come across as "preachy" so I'll shut up now ;) ...but if you ever *EVER* need someone to talk to, or someone just to listen, I'm here for you. And yeah, I know lots of people say that out of courtesy, but I totally *totally* mean it. Email, chat, phone call, snail mail, carrier pigeon...whatever ;)...just say the word and I'm there. I'm pretty sure my phone # is posted somewhere in thehappyplace, but if you do need it again, just let me know.
*more BIG hugs*
~Misty
no subject
no subject
It does feel like the world is crazy sometimes. I hope that you, your family and your novel stay safe!
no subject
As to Canada, my experience has indicated that Toronto is far safer than similarly sized cities in the US (Toronto and Chicago are around the same size, for instance). People in wealthy neighborhoods often don't feel it necessary to have security systems on their homes, and I've walked a lot of the city and have never been in an area I felt to be unsafe. But it's not perfect, by any means: there are plenty of unsafe areas, and increasing amounts of violence. There was a shooting at a suburban mall last week, and a stabbing at a subway station a couple of weeks before that, for instance. But as an American, my response is "only one?" whereas the Canadians are usually more shocked that it happened at all. I'm sure smaller towns and cities are safer yet. But is moving to Canada the answer/a viable solution? I don't know. We're never going to escape greed, selfishness, capitalism, poverty, and all the terrible things that happen as a result.
*more hugs*
no subject
I'll keep you in my prayers. : D
You know one thing my dad and I talked about after my mom up and left and all that crap happened to me was why things like that happen to people. Him and I both agree that God will only put you through what you CAN handle and we like to believe that there's a reason why things like that happen. I know it's scary and frustrating and frightening but you will get through it and beyond it when you're ready. I'm so sorry it keeps happening to you and if you need to talk more you know where to find me. : )
*more hugs*