Ugh, Take 2

[smb814]

You know what? Society, the economy, thoughtless people, arrogant people, greedy people...it can all bite me. I'm getting pretty darn close to running away somewhere, burying my face in the sand to get away from all the stupidity, and never being seen again. Don't get me wrong, I want to live, but this world we're all currently stuck in is not a world I want to live in. And I don't have any idea what I can do to fix any of it.

They're "seriously considering" layoffs at the university where I work because they need to find $4 million dollars to balance the budget (never mind that we somehow jumped from needing $1.4 million to $4 million in the matter of, like, two months, and they're not explaining how things got to be this bad). Where I stand on the cutting block, I have absolutely no idea. They don't know, either -- or if they do, they're not telling us. We won't know for another month or so, once they make their final recommendations. So now I get to sit here for the next month, worrying about whether or not I'm going to have a job, health care, etc. next year. And knowing them, they probably won't let us know specifics about who's staying and who's leaving until some time after that.

I understand wanting to keep us all informed of where things stand, and I appreciate not being completely blindsided with this. But seriously? At least an entire month of being on edge, having no idea what the future holds for us, and no one giving us any details about where things stand? Couldn't they have found a better way to tell us than this, worrying and scaring people for a whole month? And what's worse is the administration has made it clear that they don't value staff. As far as they're concerned (or at least the impression they give us), we're all expendable. Yeah, that gives me, a staff member, a really terrific, loved feeling. The people I work with directly are great, and I trust them and respect them, but the rest of the university? Not so much...and especially not anymore, ever since this new administration came in.

And then to top it all off this morning, some idiot rear-ends me. I was turning left at a major intersection, and I couldn't go because *gasp* a car was coming the other direction, and he wasn't paying attention so he didn't stop and instead smacked me. Yep, that is exactly what I needed right now. At least no one was hurt and my car is still useable, but still, seriously? Life? Can you please lay off it for awhile?

Needless to say, I'm getting pretty close to losing it because I just don't want to deal with any of this right now. And I know everyone else is dealing with their own crap, too, and mine is pretty minimal compared to what's on everyone else's plates, but it still sucks. Life shouldn't be this way. Society shouldn't be this way. People shouldn't be this way. But greed and power and selfishness have tied everyone else's hands and created the horrible situation we're all currently stuck in. And to be honest, as a student of history, I'm afraid it's gotten to the point of being pretty much unfixable until something catastrophic happens that finally manages to reshift the balance of power. Whether or not the United States could survive something like that at this point without completely imploding, though, is the question. The Roman Empire thought they were too big to fall, too, but look at what happened there. It's all just a giant unknown right now.

Unsurprisingly, my writing muse has completely run off on me, too -- between being on vacation, getting the flu, and now all of this other stuff, Kitty is just nowhere to be found. Right now I could use the distraction of writing more than ever before, something happy to focus on outside of life's crap and get away from the stress for awhile -- and a way to vent and point out just where society has gone wrong in an effort to try to get people to see the stupidity for what it is for themselves -- but the stress itself is a muse-killer. Ugh, what a vicious, nasty cycle. I'm just going to have to force myself to sit and start writing again, whether I feel like it or not, and then hope something clicks at some point. Preferably without leaving a trail of crap in its wake.

...And now I have to try to find my motivation and morale and actually get some work done. Maybe pigs will start flying while I'm at it, too.

Here's hoping everyone else on my f-list is having a better day than I am.

Comments

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I know how you feel, when they closed the computer store at UK, I went through the same thing. The only difference is that we were called into a meeting and then blindsided with the news that we had lost our jobs. I think some warning might have been nice. Perhaps you can take the month and look around and see if anything else is out there just in case you are one of the ones cut. Make an emergency plan as it were. I know the world and people suck right now but you are bright and intelligent, with lots of skills to offer. It might take a while but i know you will do alright. I will be thinking of you! Take care.

::swansmooches and hugs::

[teryl-brat42.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Everything you said about history and downfalls and catastrophe is exactly what I was thinking, too. Every "Great" civilization lasts only 200-300 years before the old ideals are lost in favor of power and money. We're there. At this point, as terrible as it sounds, we do need something to bring the US back to the reality of the world. I'm thinking maybe Yellowstone erupting (^_^) or that next big California quake-to-end-all-quakes. Maybe then humans would see they're not all-powerful beings and that, just like "lesser" animals, we are all truly at the mercy of mother nature and our Earth.

[wishkey.livejournal.com]

After spending the third consecutive business day in the FoodStamps office for no less than four hours...maybe, maybe not. I get what you are saying completely, though. It sucks large.

[meg-tdj.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you could do with some *hugs*